| 1. Adopt a mind script that every conversation you have will be brilliant experience for you. You can say this to yourself before you even begin talking to anyone. 2. Once you've done the hardest part (said anything, even 'hi') take a moment to think about what you did well and how you can celebrate yourself. 3. The emotions you inject into the conversation (tip: smile as you speak) sets the expectation for others to follow. If you're enjoying yourself, others will do...but it sometimes takes them a little while to warm up. 4. It's easy to mistake a lukewarm/ muted response for rejection. Most of the time it is NOT. The other person is just trying to work out who you are and what you want. During this time, smile, stay upbeat. They'll come round. 5. Avoid asking questions, which is everyone's polite 'go to'. Instead, make statements. It takes more effort but it helps express yourself. "You look fun!" "That looks interesting!" will inject more emotion than asking a question. (Hint: when statements become easy you can ask questions again). 6. What on earth do you talk about? Yourself. You need to maintain a conversation to get it going (and the other person on board). Rather than say "that drink looks yum" say "i'm thirsty...and choosing is difficult for me because I'm a software engineer...but that drink looks yum". This helps you share a little more about you and explains why you're making a statement in the first place. 7. Have a genuine reason to actually talk to people. What's the best reason? Curiosity. Even if you're bored and lonely, say that. "Hi! I'm bored eating my lunch by myself so I thought i'd come say hi for a moment" Source: I run this site/ youtube www.yourcharismacoach.com |