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Hi cjhveal, This is like liquid gold to me. Thank you so much for sharing. It's been a long journey, and I'm of the typical self-studied knowledge base -- fractured, and an inch wide and a mile deep in spurious, seemingly unpredictable places that a "real" practitioner wouldn't waste time on. There is a strange sense of depersonalization that doesn't fit traditional/vanilla DP/DR, and I'll absolutely have to take a look at the Schizoid PD and the surrounding literature. Any good sources to study to understand? Anything from articles to textbooks works for me. Clusters B and C have been of more attention recently, as I have some overlap there, but as with everything, it seems like PDs aren't entirely discrete. Now, you seem to be extremely well-studied on some of the intricacies of some of the PDs. Combinatorially, it could certainly be a very strong part of things. I find myself very social, generally, with interest in people and a variety of activities, but of course at times frozen in a fear response/very reclusive -- moreso than emotions might typically suggest. No traditional "hallucinatory" symptoms, though we both probably have experienced the vast gap between public perception and XYZ in some small areas or another. Really appreciate you putting together a thoughtful response so much. I don't know whether you're a clinician, or what might have brought you into the PD neighborhood, but having another option to weigh and understand is vastly appreciated, and I was entirely unaware of the Schizoid PD before today -- I'd just thought it was a descriptor (and an odd one at that), so the expanding arena is much appreciated. If you have anything you're interested in that that you're willing to pass along, I sure would be. Many thanks again, B |
To be perfectly honest, my own fascination with personality disorders has formed as a result of rumination, spending energy obsessing over perceived symptoms and the their implications to the detriment of taking action toward solving the problems. I think this is one of the dangers of trying to go about making sense of your mental wellbeing alone.
If you're not already working with a mental health professional, and it is at all possible, I would very strongly recommend finding a therapist with a PsyD licensed in your jurisdiction. When you find a good one, they will have the depth to talk with you at a high level and the breadth and experience to help you consider possibilities you wouldn't have known about on your own. I understand if that's out of reach for you given your circumstances, but it can be a huge help.
Ultimately you are right, personality disorders are not discrete, nor are they mutually exclusive categories. They're really just patterns of traits as observed by folks who spend their time studying this kind of thing, and none of them seem have as simple a pathology as something like Wilson's disease where a vast array of symptoms can all be caused simply by an inability to excrete enough copper.
That aside, specifically to your request for more information, I can offer the following:
I was recently introduced to the relation between identity disturbance and the schizophrenia spectrum via this paper[0]. I realized that I had a very narrow view of schizophrenia and started to learn about the concept of schizotypy, the difference between negative/positive schizophrenia symptoms, and how dissociation + depression can start to look a lot like it fits on the schizophrenia spectrum. Here's another paper[1] that goes a bit more into the ways that the two spectrums overlap and contrast. Finally, sometimes the personality disorder subreddits can be useful for both finding a community and exploring what folks are saying about their own diagnoses and experience there.
[0]: https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/45/1/... [1]: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5216848/
Feel free to reach out via the email on my website (in HN bio), if you have any other questions.