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by kerkeslager
2154 days ago
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Yeah, I apologize if I came across as saying this is easy: it's definitely not easy. I'd also be interested in hearing ways in which you've been successful in changing your lifestyle. Getting into rock climbing has been huge for me. It's given me long-term goals, a community, fitness, and challenges to overcome that I care about. I've also done a good job of removing addictions from my life. I don't have a Facebook account, and largely haven't gotten involved in most social media. In a sense, my biggest failure is that I'm here: detaching myself from social media has proven to be the biggest challenge in removing wastes of time from my life. There's some payoff here, but compared to the time I put into it, it's not a net gain. I've also invested a lot of time in developing fewer, but deeper relationships. My friends now are people who show up for me and I show up for them and we're honest with each other (brutally so, in some cases). This is why a lot of my posts on HN get downvoted; I've come to believe that attempts to soften negative feedback just cause it to not be heard--it's kinder to be a bit harsh than to understate problems. Volunteering has been a big thing for me, although I'm less involved right now (focusing on adjusting to some big life changes I've made). Helping other people has given me a big sense of community and purpose. |
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So far it's been really difficult. I don't want to excuse it by arguing that my (high-functioning) autism and OCD/anxiety issues make it really difficult to make changes in general, but they do play a role.
That said, your experience sounds solid to me and I've actually been really interested in rock climbing specifically. Any way I could ask you for advice/input outside of this public forum? If yes, you can find my email in my profile.
EDIT: I'll add that it's the volunteering part that makes me want to talk more. My late teens up until my mid-twenties were defined by various forms of volunteering, and I seriously considered becoming a 'professional' volunteer (priest/monk). so it's close to my heart but far away from my current-day practice.
EDIT2: for the benefit of anyone reading along, zen, mindfulness, and taking all my problems less seriously and focusing on fundamentals (diet, exercise, friendships) have had the most positive impact by far! Therapy too, for the stuff that all the previous stuff can't fix (and crucially, not giving up after the first therapist who only made my situation worse. finding a therapist you 'click' with is, as far as current knowledge is concerned, the best predictor of effective therapy)!