[snappieT]

It's so sad to hear about mom/mother/maternal so much in that article, and so little about the father's side of things. I want to believe that I can be an emotionally-nurturing influence on my kids, it feels like such a shame that there was zero mention that a male can fulfill this role - does the science say it's not possible at all?

Otherwise a great article and some sections certainly did resonate.

[tropdrop]

There was a halfhearted attempt to remind that this figure doesn't have to be the mother:

"By contrast, children of unresponsive or insensitive caregivers form insecure attachment. They become anxious and easily distressed by the smallest sign of separation from their attachment figure... Finally, children with abusive caregivers become disorganised: they switch between avoidant and anxious coping, engage in odd behaviours and, like Cora, often self-harm."

So this is an implicit acknowledgement that the gender of that early caregiver matters less than that they are nurturing.

But I agree, the article is remiss in explicitly making mention that the gender of the early caregiver does not matter - especially given that the other half of the article is devoted to a male-female relationship (Cora and her therapist) which clearly contradicts the assumption that this needs to be a mother-child.

Personally, I would have loved to see mention that even those with one stable caregiver can still develop issues when the other caregiver is not stable, or worse: that the other caregiver does not care. That often results in a person forming good relationships with their friends, but having a different (worse) standard of conduct towards their romantic partner - e.g. a child who sees their same-gendered parent [physically or verbally] abused, and once an adult, enters into an abusive relationship because that is what is normal to them in regards to the "other" gender.

[pizza234]

I've been significantly "involved" in this area in the last few years, and as far I see it, it's pretty much the standard blend of gender roles and nature-vs-nurture.

Most of the western societies are still based on the mother educator and father provider model. On top of this, I personally agree that mothers tend to have the qualities that makes it easier to deal with children (in a wide sense), which creates a positive feedback (or negative, depending on the POV).

None of this is out of reach for fathers. My opinion is that with some effort and an equal amount of dedication, binding and influence on children are equal (although of course, different in nature). However, it's generally uphill.

Keep in mind that once you start to notice the gender role, even more than hearing little about fathers, you'll see the negative stereotypes: check out how are the separated fathers are depicted in the cinema - it's something that "can't be unseen".

Having said that, there's movement of course, primarily in/from the Scandinavian countries. Generally speaking, gender equality increases towards the north of Europe. American countries are, I suppose, a bit of a patchwork (definitely some countries are very "behind").

I'm not sure how much time, and if ever, genders will equalize, in particular in the literature/arts depiction. Ultimately, it's also a choice - fathers being providers is not implicitly negative, it's a cultural choice (in the context of a country). Laws, they definitely need to adapt, though!