[mdocherty]

You can work to increase your income by working towards a promotion or finding a new job. The other option is to reduce your outgoings. Who are you supporting and why are you supporting them? Why are you stuck living in a VHCOL?

[mcdoug]

I am pretty much as high up in my company as I can be without being an owner. We don't use these terms, but effectively I am occupying the role of the CTO.

With the current pandemic I am doing very little going out. That doesn't mean my expenses are better off though. I am directly supporting two kids and my life partner who works but her career is very low paying. She takes care of most of her expenses but housing is on me. I indirectly support two other people because I care about them and their well being. I am stuck living where I am because I am divorced and my ex won't move. If I move I don't get to see my children, which isn't an option for me.

[mdocherty]

To me your goal should be a better payed role. I assume with your VHCOL that there are better jobs available. I would work on landing something better at big tech (FANG ideally).

Once you're there you can focus on your side projects or building your own SAAS etc.