My experience with lay practitioners (such as myself) is that you may have to try a few different things to find something that works while living a regular life. The Mind Illuminated, the Sedona Method, Louise Hay, the work of the stoics, yoga, qigong, therapy, all provide different approaches to developing emotional intelligence and managing difficult states of mind. I did zen meditation for a decade and while it provided many benefits I still struggled with anger in my day to day life. Two months of reading about and applying the stoic principles completely changed that.
It's not going to solve all of your problems. But I know it's possible to be so anxious that you can't even bring yourself to get other forms of help you need. And in other cases, it can help break the vicious cycle you described.
Learning to slow down and breathe are the simplest thing that many never learn.