[welearnednothng]

I can relate to much of what you're saying. This seems to be the common trapping of modern society - everyone must be happy and care about the same things. I'm not professionally qualified on the subject, but my vote is embrace it - but also try to understand it.

For instance, find a therapist to talk with. Don't feel like you need to settle for the first one you find, find one that feels right to you. It could be that there are deep rooted thoughts or emotions that actually are unhealthy that you may want to get to the bottom of. The goal here isn't change, it's understanding... and through understanding, determine if there's anything you'd like to change or even embrace. For example, I tend to focus on the negatives and everything wrong with the world. I realized I picked these behaviors up from my mother which not only allows me to be more aware of my behavior, but also helps me gently guide conversations with her away from being so negative and help her find positive things in her life.

Psychedelics often come up in these conversations, as well. I know many people whom see their experiences with psychedelics as turning points for them. There's plenty out research out there on the subject that I won't rehash here. If you choose to go down this route, I'd suggest doing your own research and if it seems like something you'd like to try do so in a safe place with one or more persons you feel safe around. Preferably, have an experienced "guide" there with you.

Lastly, I've been digging into the subject of gratitude for awhile now - both giving and receiving. There's a lot of research indicating it can be quite powerful. I tend to focus on the negative and everything that's wrong with the world (or my job, or my partner). Sometimes, just setting aside time to stop and think about something or someone you're grateful for (and especially communicating that) can do wonders. This isn't about not having or getting rid of pessimistic thoughts - it's about finding conscious space for appreciation, which can help balance things out or just help find some sparks of joy that might otherwise get drowned out by the negativity.

We're all on our own journey. Embrace who you are and try to take in the sights along the way.