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by rovolo 2163 days ago
A different way to view this is that being desperate makes you behave badly. For example, someone desperate for a job won't push back against bad decisions and will become a "Yes Man". Someone desperate for a date won't engage with the other person as a person.
1 comments
flattone 2162 days ago
That is a different way to view it. An incredibly negative seeming view of humans. Ill lay my cards down though, i have limited years of really varied experience (ups, ski resort, landscaper, metal grinder, fork lift driver, house painter, door to door vacuum sales, google pm, msft Analyst, trying to break into infosec.)

In my short list (ignoring years of time wasted travelling), i have only met 1 yes man. He came from money, and sales. Owned 4 large businesses, and would over promise, under deliver and over receive ALWAYS.

So what are your experiences like and from where?

I think no backbone can be a personality trait, sure. But it is NOT a trait of 'need' and action, in my experience.

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rovolo 2161 days ago
Saying "Yes man" probably derailed my thesis since it's associated with the higher rungs of the corporate ladder. I thought that this would be uncontroversial.

I'd like to focus on Dating because I disagree with your offhand comment, even though it was in jest and is probably more cynical than you are in person.

> The more … apathetic ill be cherished. Sounds like dating ;)

Feeling bad makes your behavior suffer. Being angry makes you less nice to people. Being tired means you don't engage with people. Being scared or anxious makes you hide your vulnerabilities and close yourself off. I'm not saying that badly behaved people deserve to be ignored, I'm acknowledging that it is uncomfortable to interact with people who are hurting.

Being "driven and hungry" while dating makes you behave worse. It makes you over-eager to please the other person, and it flattens out your personality. Instead of focusing on making the person like you, you should be exploring whether you like each other. A date can be successful even if the two of you don't end up dating because you two would not make a good couple.

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