[umvi]

> Did you ever tell her you spent years completely discounting her and ‘stealing’ her ideas

I don't think the "discounting"/"stealing" was intentional... and it's not necessarily exclusive to women. "Selling yourself" is a skill that even men struggle with, especially the quiet, introverted, but definitely intellectual types.

[silveroriole]

Selling yourself can be hard, but I have to say in my time of browsing HN I’ve never seen a male engineer complain about being completely ignored in their job in the way the commenter describes. Overlooked in interviews due to ageism, yes, but once they get in I don’t have the impression it would take a middle-aged man with an IQ of 155 YEARS to get out of ‘invisibility mode’ (and would his attractiveness come into it at all? Probably not, if most of his coworkers are also male). If anyone wants to share their experience here to prove I’m wrong, please do!

[derefr]

> I have to say in my time of browsing HN I’ve never seen a male engineer complain about being completely ignored in their job in the way the commenter describes

To be frank, that's because in most environments a male engineer would be told it's their own fault for not trying harder to get recognized / pushing their "personal brand" more (i.e. they'd be social punished for pointing out this problem, rather than getting social justice.)

Men internalize this early in life, and so don't bother to complain about such things no matter how often it happens to them.

[oblio]

> Selling yourself can be hard, but I have to say in my time of browsing HN I’ve never seen a male engineer complain about being completely ignored in their job in the way the commenter describes.

As a stereotype, men are more aggressive, even the quiet ones. After all, there's all that extra testosterone.

I'd guess that if men are overlooked they're more likely to lash out. And also because of this, other men tend to be more careful around other men, because they know in general that other men can lash out.

Again, everything I say is based on stereotypes, your mileage may vary, etc.