[CarbyAu]

The One Trick Relationship Experts Hate! :-P

My take on your comment.

Accepting the premise of: "you have both credibly committed"(a nice phrase) -> removes reason to be suspicious.

Removing suspicion -> removes fear. Removing fear -> removes anxiety/anger. Less suspicion, fear, anxiety and anger -> Less effort

Hence: "Committing to make it work makes it easier to make it work." (another nice phrase)

On the one hand you are committing to work. Who wants to sign up for more of that!? On the other hand, it really does reduce the overall workload. Long term relationships may be less scary than people realise.

When my wife does something that irritates me, my first question is "What error in communication led to our team play resulting in this?", because I have already accepted she is not doing it from spite.

[vlasev]

It really is like that. The less effort you put in with every choice in a relationship, the more work you'll end up having to do to save it later on. Every choice is a potential investment into your future together. A relationship is very much about doing fewer things wrong, because your default state is to be happy together.