[hator]

While for sure not all "ex-military skills" are leadership skills, there are some general leadership skills you can learn in many places, including the military.

The book is in my opinion a distillation of those skills, which -- maybe just so happen to -- come from military background. None of what is presented in the book come anywhere close to the situation you described. I would dare to say, quite the contrary. It is about listening, understanding, trusting and many other things, usually considered positive.

It had a great influence on me, though I have never even thought of joining the military.

I started practicing extreme ownership as a regular developer and made my way up to a team leader in about 6 months time. Now I double down as a fresh (and young) leader.