|
I'll take a shot at translating those in a somewhat intelligible way while trying to preserve hilarity, with my commentary in parenthesis when appropriate. "A famous udarnik (a shock worker, someone who was a lot more productive than others) Aleksei Stakhanov went number one 2 times a day and number two 1 time every two days. However, when in zapoy (drinking continuosly) he went number one 4 times a day and didn't go number two at all. How many times he went number one and number two in a year, considering that he was in zapoy 312 days a year?" "When American Seventh fleet ships moored to Petushki station, there was no party member girls (Communist Party obviously, there was no other party) there, but if you consider Komsomol (kind of a youth division of the Party) girls belonging to the party, a third of them were blonde. When American Seventh fleet ships left, the following was discovered: every third Komsomol girl was raped, every forth raped girl was a Komsomol member, every fifth raped Komsomol girl was a blonde, every ninth raped blonde was a Komsomol member. Considering that there was a total of 428 girls in Petushki, how many non-party brunettes were left untouched?" "As we know, there is no point A's in Petushki. All the more, there is no point C's. The only points present are B. So, Papanin (a last name), going to save Vodopyanov (another last name), started moving from point B1 to point B2. At the same moment Vodopyanov, going to save Papanin, started moving from point B2 to point B1. It is unknown why, but they both ended up at point B3, which is 12 Vodopyanov's spits away from point B1 and 16 Papanin's spits away from point B2. Considering that Papanin's spits land 3m 72cm away, and Vodopyanov can't spit at all, was Papanin actually going to save Vodopyanov?" UPD: typo |