| It writes uncomfortably coherent and witty fatalist My Little Pony fanfiction: > “I’m Princess Celestia, of Equestria.” the alicorn said, “It’s nice to meet you. And I’m very sorry for your untimely demise.” > “Heh. You’re telling me.” the Professor laughed, shaking his head. “I’m dead. I’m… dead. Do you know what that means?” > “I have an inkling.” Princess Celestia said, wincing. > “It means I don’t have to worry about even numbers anymore.” he said, nodding. “I don’t have to worry about probabilities anymore! I don’t have to worry about the upcoming war anymore! I don’t have to worry about anypony anymore!” he spread his hooves out at his sides, “I don’t have to do anything anymore! It’s beautiful!” > “Yes, yes, I’m sure it is.” Princess Celestia said, nodding along. > “Nothing matters now that I’m dead!” he cheered, “It’s great! I’m free! This is what it feels like to be liberated!” > “I can see that.” she said. > “I’m free from death!” he continued, “I’m free from taxes! I’m free from dictatorships! I’m free from flirting!” he laughed, “I’m free from everything! Isn’t it great?” > “Sure, I guess.” Princess Celestia shrugged. > “What do you think about all of this, Princess?” he asked. > “About what?” she replied. > “Well, I just thought you might have something to say about it all.” he told her. > “What would you like me to say?” she responded. > “Do you think death is awesome?” he questioned. > “Well… no.” she shook her head, “But I think the passage to it is.” > “Oh.” he said, “I see what you mean.” |