[at_a_remove]

Over the many, many years, I have thrashed around with ... well, almost every suggestion that usually comes up on these articles and threads responding to these articles, as well as many unorthodox ideas. The pills and the preaching, the assorted practices recommended and the acting, going through the motions of joy hoping something will catch, the focuses outside oneself cast like grappling hooks onto any ship not sinking, the licensed and the masters' teachings, these have all disappointed me in the end. After failure upon failure, I have come to the conclusion that for some, the needle is not moved much at all upward, despite struggles and inventiveness, and so I have sided with Blake: some are born to endless night.

[javert]

Hey there. Not sure if you will see this since I'm late to the conversation, but here's a suggestion.

Just do what you want.

If you don't want to do anything, keep trying/looking for things. (Don't force yourself to 'enjoy' something. If you don't want to keep doing it after just a little while, it's not the solution, so stop.)

For me, it was video games. I loathed people who play video games. But for me, it was a starting point to start enjoying life again.

You have to start simple. More complex values come later, from having a simple foundation of simple values.

I don't want to trivialize your problems, but I just though I would share this since "Do what you want" is not advice I really ever see, so maybe you haven't tried it yet.

[at_a_remove]

This is one of the more frequent responses. It's in the "if nothing matters, then it doesn't matter what you do" group. Typically travel is suggested.

That would be interesting: a taxonomy of common responses to ongoing despair.

[javert]

> if nothing matters, then it doesn't matter what you do

That is carrying an enormous amount of baggage that isn't in my suggestion.

Things do matter, and it does matter what you do. To say otherwise is both incorrect and too pessimistic about the human situation.

But, doing what you want is what makes anything matter. It's the solution to the "problem of meaning."

Most people just live their lives, getting barely enough of what they want to not become depressed and dysfunctional, but never actually figuring this out.

What you want is ultimately based in biology. A hungry person wants food; a thirsty person wants water. Of course, you are at a slightly higher level. But you have to look at your own desires to see what, specifically, you want. I would consider this to be a kind of hedonism (in the very technical sense of the term, without any other connotations, such moral looseness or depravity). I'm a long-term hedonist.

I wouldn't suggest anything specific for you (e.g. travel), because I don't know what you want to do. Travel definitely wouldn't suffice, for me. Like I said, for me, it is and was video games. I expect to move beyond that and want to achieve something more complex, eventually. I can feel that coming.

Also, yes, a taxonomy of common responses to despair would be interesting. Probably not helpful, but interesting.

[vertak]

This is an important but deeply tragic point. I have friends who I would bet heavily will be unwellbeing their entire lives.

Even if it is true though, is it worth the total loss of hope that would accompany the resignation to the endless night? To me it seems worth the ups and downs of hope and defeat, if only that it promises some points of positive change whereas if you resign yourself to unwellbeing then you will limit the positive upswings you’ll experience.

Either way, it should be acknowledged that there is a small minority for whom these techniques are but an Advil to a splitting migraine.

[at_a_remove]

Ah, there are no ups of hope, not after a while. What you have, instead, is sickening suspicion that, as much as you might commit to it, no matter how radical the changes, and with no regard to the time you have spent doing whatever it is, it won't work. It becomes an unrewarding hobby: what will I try this time? It's lavender oil aromatherapy for your pancreatic cancer and sure you can try it but ... no ups, only periods of struggle and exhaustion alternating, coming in like the phases of the moon.