| > I agree ... but .... I don't expect you to agree. In my experience, I expect us to have different views, that's OK. And it's likely we're misinterpreting each other's words...we each see there what we bring to it. It's not your responsibility if I misinterpret you, it's not my responsibility if you misinterpret me. In a way, that's more interesting, because instead of talking about topics and pretending, "I'm right", and pretending, "You're wrong", we get to just share and discuss and respond from each other's views. Stimulus, response. > First of all, ... no blame for anger I guess that’s how I feel when people complain about their own choices or the consequences of those. The rest of your responses to my words misrepresent or misinterpret what I mean.... > Secondly, I find it odd ... because she is female. I mean when bad things happen, don’t reach for the “this happened because I’m a woman”, because that’s disempowering. > I don't agree that ... acknowledging your gender (or other minority features) is disempowering. I mean, adopting a disempowering identity narrative ( that might include things like, “I’m a victim”, or “people are out to get me”, or “I’m inherently weak” ) is disempowering. > Unfortunately, ... HN, purely interpretive, don't exist I mean don't hide from what happens, what you chose, how you feel. Face that and choose a way to respond that empowers you. > How odd is it that Lyft and Uber....self love, warrior I’ll interpret as...you have to find self love through being a warrior against oppression. I don't think so. My view of self love, self worth, self respect is don’t rely on others for that. Be your own source. I think if you do what I interpret you as saying, your self love might be based on trying to hurt others you decide are wrong and seeking approval from others you decide are right. Actually, when you misinterpret what I wrote here in a way that seems, "You have to be an idiot or really bad to write that," I feel like hurting me because you've decided I'm wrong is what you're trying to do here... > Consider ... Tracy I mean face being a woman and write a powerful identity narrative about that. Dissociate yourself from disempowering fake victim narratives others seek to foist upon you. > Consider ... men It sounds like you reduce men or women to a label. Labels are not who you are. And it seems you’re saying, “Men uncritically accept whatever male identity they are given as an unearned entitlement.” Lets me feel like you lack empathy with the life of an individual deliberately creating their own identity through experience and effort, and are also willing to dismiss the identity development and the inner life of men, but...you’re all about combating not perpetrating oppression, right? > I think, actually, most of us ... doesn't work. I love this. Let me paraphrase to show some of my view. I think, actually, most of us have grown up believing in our own power and that the world is fair. Then we experience the ways that its not and struggle with that powerlessness. Some of us then adopt disempowering fake victim narratives, blame others, and feel justified in taking out our anger on them, while others grow their effectiveness by using their choices and taking personal responsibility. In my experience, it is clear to me that this model of fake blame and victimhood doesn’t work. > What if we empowered our kids by teaching them to love themselves and embrace their identities, rather than pretend they don't exist? Agree, but let’s not tell them who they are. Encourage to develop empowering not disempowering identities, and not to think that labels are who they are. They get to choose who they are. Labels are just what describes things, doesn’t proscribe things. > What if we told them early on that the world is unjust and taught them to protect themselves? In my experience, I needed to keep a balance. Let's let them know how to protect themselves, and also know how beautiful it is, and show them you can create a great life through your own efforts. And more, what if instead of “teaching” them...we showed them. With our own behavior. Shared with them how we faced different situations, and what we tried, and how that went and what we felt. And let them decide? After all, we're not running their lives, who they are is not up to us. We're just there to help them grow, guide them towards the light, but not shape the form they will take. So we shouldn't be too quick to paint the world through the lens of our own suffering and joy, and not to say to them, "this is the real world, the one truth", because there's as many paths through the world as there are individuals in it. Be an individual. I think one thing that's happening lately in the zeitgeist is the religion of labels. People need to form their own identity, the labels you use for me are not who I am. Just because old models of authority and morality are decaying (such as actual religions), doesn’t mean people can just invent their "religions" and force others to obey. Everyone who has the "black" label has to do "this" and is not allowed to do "that"? Crazy. Racist. Disempowering. Not freedom. Labels are not identity. You are not your labels. You are who you choose to be. Everyone can choose who they want to be. Write your own story. Also, my feedback is, in disagreeing with my view...it seems you've misinterpreted what I'm saying not in a generous way...isn't it enough to share your view, disagree with mine, but without pretending you're better than someone else? If your world view was really working for you, why'd you have to compensate insecurity like that? Anyway, thanks for the response and the chance to share my view...and be clear about it. I'm grateful for that and for knowing your view a bit more. I have way more to say about this, but I can't really say that such a response would be about what you've said. It's just a topic I'm really interested in. Wish you luck with what you're doing :) |