[abhayhegde]

I did not read all the comments and hence do not know if this has been already mentioned. I have found "The Art of Learning" by Josh Waitzkin, as an excellent guide to two approaches of thinking: fixed mindset and growth mindset.

The author was a national chess champion at the age of nine and later earns the title of world champion of Tai Chi, a martial art. He gives a critical analysis, especially in chapter three on how he was able to shift to growth mindset. Although most of it is very specific to him and written in chess lingo, I think the common theme is graspable and there are good ideas lying all around. Style on chessboard is direct expression of personality and this book may help you.