[vmception]

Goorin Brothers!

oh shoot! It was when I said social proof wasn't it! well the other term I was specifically avoiding was demonstrating higher value. Yes, gotta update those concepts to conform to things people actually value this decade, especially when wealth and education credentials are more ubiquitous and not unique (in SF/Bay Area) and both genders have it more often. I just don't want to be associated with the twisted and lost "red pill" crowd so I don't use the terms but try to describe similar concepts.

[obiye]

It’s all the same stuff. I’ll never understand the appeal.

[vmception]

The appeal is to remove the randomness from society and specifically regarding attraction and consensual intimate outcomes.

I didn't like having an average case success with average people an average amount of times. I was and still am very allured by having best case success with consensus attractive people an above average amount of times. Consensus attractive and whatever I specifically find to be extremes of attraction, of which there is significant overlap.

Most of the attraction things I would do are gender neutral and are useful outside of courtship contexts. More like sales. Live in a desirable neighborhood, enjoy certain experiences. If I would portray a certain accurate lifestyle in a client meeting where the business itself is in the back of our minds but relevant, I would portray it on a date where the "business itself" is in the back of our minds but relevant.

[obiye]

Yeah, I find sales and marketing to be distasteful in general, and casting human relationships into that mold turns something beautiful about life into a hollow commodity. I have strong desires for community, and personal meaning, so I am happy to have deeper relationships even if it means they are fewer in number. It also feels to me that the urge to pursue a large volume of experiences in this gamified way is an attempt at finding validation without being vulnerable, which is ultimately self-defeating. But hey, if it makes you happy then who am I to say anything. But that perspective is why I don’t understand the appeal.

[vmception]

It was an analogy about how benign it is and not exclusive to cisgender courtship. Things that make me attractive in one environment make me attractive in another environment as well, compared to putting on a hallow mask temporarily for women. Oddly enough, I don't mind their makeup.

> It also feels to me that the urge to pursue a large volume of experiences in this gamified way is an attempt at finding validation without being vulnerable

Or its exclusively an attempt to have sex with a variety of people that look like the people I always wanted to have sex with, and it is as fulfilling, entertaining and intriguing as I expected it to be? I was wondering if you considered that.