[quadrifoliate]

A serious and somewhat foolproof answer that should work for most reasonable couples: Buy her a simple silver or gold ring when you propose. This shows commitment, and both silver and gold jewelry hold value far better than diamonds.

After proposing, you have several options:

* If she wants a diamond or moissanite or CZ or other ring, the two of you can go shopping for it later, or commission a custom one.

* If she doesn't want an expensive ring, you can spend it on other things.

* If she gets extremely upset and refuses just because you should have gotten a diamond ring the first time, you might want to rethink whether you want to spend your life with this person.

[aggie]

Finding a life partner is not easy. I suggest not adding "must be ok without a diamond ring" to your criteria. Also, communicate beforehand rather than taking a stand on an issue she will literally wear for life and expecting her to accede.

I say this as someone who likes the idea of moissanite, but relented to getting an "ethical" diamond from Canada (there is some dispute about provenance of these diamonds).

In other words, this isn't a hill to die on.

[formercoder]

Lab grown diamonds. Moissanite and CZ don’t look the same. Lab grown diamonds are chemically identical.