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by coffee 2203 days ago
> Here's to hoping we both come away from this slightly better than we entered

That's very funny to me :-)

> my original reply to you was probably a bit snarkier than called for

> At the time, I thought it warranted

> my misinterpretation of your comment

> what I thought the most likely meaning of it was

> and I intended to lightly reflect that in a way I hoped would illuminate what I saw as the problem with that approach

Wow.

I quoted a few sentences that were painful to me, and out of that came all of this?

A snarky reply, that you felt was warranted, followed up by you trying to educate (illuminate) me on why you saw it as a problem.

Throwing in some "social proof" for why all of that was okay:

> I don't think I was the only one in that position

Along with justifying most of your approach:

> That said, I do think some of my criticisms hold weight. > there wasn't enough actual content from you > to easily discern what you were trying to accomplish

Emphasizing how big of a person you truly are by putting in extra effort:

> I'm going to go out of my way to apologize

1 comments

> Throwing in some "social proof" for why all of that was okay:

More just to explain what led to it, but you can interpret it how you like.

> Emphasizing how big of a person you truly are by putting in extra effort:

Actually, just trying to live up to the standard I set for myself, but don't always achieve. I chose an idiom that might have implied something I didn't intend. By "going out of my way" I was really just referring to how I was replying to myself, and not waiting for your reply to me, so try to short circuit that wait, and express my feelings even if you chose not to reply but still felt negatively about the exchange.

It is possible to apologize for how you did something, but not for why. This isn't some attempt and stealing a "win" in an argument through meta-analysis, it was just me deciding I had been uncharitable, and deciding to do something about it.

I'm sorry it sounds like you couldn't accept this in the spirit it was meant. It's probably not productive for us to continue further on this topic. I hope you have a good night.