Ask HN: Leave small company where I’m a key person

[throw_getAjerb]

I am CTO of a small consulting firm. I’ve been instrumental the last 7-8 years in growing our profile and business. I was directly responsible for winning 50% of revenue last several years, and had influence on much of the remaining 50%. I manage our largest clients and most significant open source projects (which we derive a lot of business)

Lately I feel very stuck. I am tired of consulting. Because of Covid I haven’t had to travel. I have small kids and no longer want to travel excessively. I’ve also had every experience I can have at my job. I feel stagnant. I’m also tired of the same problems over and over and over at this company. As I told a friend everything has become far too “lovable”

I have put out feelers for new jobs, and seem to have a lot of positive prospects. I’m very excited about the opportunities.

The guilt though of wanting to leave is overwhelming. I worry I’ll damage relationships and there will be a lot of hurt feelings. At the same time, the company has had a lot of time to grow/hire more people that could take on my level of work

How do I leave, preserve relationships, and minimize damage to the company? Any pointers appreciated.

[topkai22]

One of the best lessons I've learned in life is we as individuals are a lot less important in others lives than we think we are (immediate family excluded.) Leaving is likely to be a lot less devastating to others than you think. While it's good to be concerned about your fellow coworkers, be aware you are likely over estimating your place in their lives.

I assume other people have left your company before, was there bad fallout? Why? Can you avoid that? If there has never been fallout, why are you worried there will be now? People change jobs all the time, and 8 years is a long time in the same position.

Talk over your thoughts with your CEO and maybe peers. You don't need to (and shouldn't) talk about any external job offers, but if you ask them "My life has changed- I don't want to travel any more, I want to solve larger problems, and I want to interface with customers less, can I do that here?" then they can at least come to the conclusion that it's time for a transition as well. And maybe they have something up their sleeve. If not, they can work with you on transitioning in a controlled manner instead of a <1 month panic.

If your other opportunities allow, you can even offer yourself for reach back consulting on a limited basis - I've seen that be successful before.

Finally, so long as you are trying to be professional and collegiual about it, don't feel guilty about transitioning. Small kids change things, you need a different lifestyle. Coworkers who care about you as a whole will understand that.

[catacombs]

> People change jobs all the time, and 8 years is a long time in the same position.

Really? I'm coming up to five years at my job, and I can easily stay another five.

[zx14]

I get your guilt. I think it's normal to worry about how the company will fare without you, and how your relationships with your soon to be ex-colleagues will be affected and what not. However at the end of the day you do what's best for you and your family, mentally, financially, you name it. And you must always remember that throughout this process, regardless of what's going to happen.

There is absolutely no guarantee some people won't be upset and won't take it personally and there is no guarantee the company will have a smooth ride without you, but what you can do is give them plenty of notice, say 2-3 months. During this time you can work with them to make the transition as smooth as possible, including training and/or hiring a successor. Whether those months will be good or a total hell, only you can guess - and you may still be wrong.

[greenyoda]

> However at the end of the day you do what's best for you

Excellent advice. Remember that you're the only one there who actually cares about what's best for you. If the company ever decided that it was in their best interest to get rid of you, they would fire you without hesitation and without guilt.

> Whether those months will be good or a total hell...

If the company acts abusively toward you after you give them notice that you're leaving, you have the perfect right to walk out the door whenever is convenient for you. You don't owe them anything.