[throwaway391003]

It's a huge lie that once you've achieved the "american dream" (which I don't think is the real american dream anyways) then everything will be sorted out. yes your life will be more amazing, and it's 100% important to reach this place, but once you've hit that place you'll lose a lot of motivation and energy, cause now lack of money, lack of family, lack of anything, doesn't kick your ass during the day. so you have a huge new challenge on your hands, and that is to re-invent yourself and discover what can move you now. you're embarking on a set of veryyyy difficult questions around what's the purpose of all this, what's the point of this, what the heck should i do with my days now. just know that you've been put on this journey for a reason and there's a way out and listen to your heart more than anything else. trust yourself. and be patient. there are answers out there and they will make you more fulfilled than you can imagine. the worst thing you can do is turn a blind eye to what your heart is saying and dive back into work and whatnot. you're doing the right, difficult thing by sitting patiently and staring right into the eye of the storm, so despite it appearing you're doing nothing with your life now, you're going through a lot of inner changes that will ultimately lead to a lot of outer changes.