[csours]

> "managers cannot disagree with each other in front of other employees, a manager cannot criticize management actions/decisions."

This seems to be the crux of your problem, and it is a thorny one. You can directly criticize leadership decisions, if you are OK with losing your job. Even for people who report to you, the guidance is: Praise in public, reprimand in private. It's very easy to humiliate someone when you intend to educate, especially if you do it publicly. It never feels good to be attacked and it's easy to take criticism as an attack.

What you can and should do is provide context to your team. Eg: we decided to do this because we care more about money than privacy (obviously phrase this better). It can be pretty powerful to ask other leaders to provide context for their decisions.

As far as communication styles: you must have a core of common goals and mutual respect. Look up Nonviolent communication and Crucial Conversations. You don't need to follow the whole format like it's a prayer or incantation, but take the good parts and use them. Don't expect the other side to follow the format.