[Trasmatta]

CBT definitely won't work for everyone, but this seems like something a good therapist could help someone work through. Self blaming like that is one of the cognitive distortions that CBT should be able to help root out.

I realize that it very likely just wasn't the type of therapy that works for you, just throwing out the alternative perspective for anyone reading this and considering CBT.

[mitjak]

for sure! i feel a lot more capable of applying the self reflective tools of CBT at this point in time. but it really felt like CBT was consistently suggested to me at a point in time when i just wasn't ready. and it took some (difficult) time to understand that there's nothing wrong with me for not being receptive to it.