[dang]

I care enough to respond to you, for what it's worth. I think the main problem here is the experience of being insulted and the wish to defend against insults. Because we have so little information about each other in these little internet comments, it's extremely easy to perceive insults where there wasn't anything much. More importantly though, even if someone does post an insult, it's just a shitty internet comment. Why respond in kind? It's beneath your dignity and does no good. It feeds the other person's inclination to go further, and damages the container here. I'm not suggesting that you turn the other cheek exactly; just that it's in your and HN's interest for you to just ignore it when people post nasty things.

I believe readers (intelligent ones at least) look to see who stopped replying first and extend greater respect to that one. It feels exactly the opposite in the moment: I have to defend myself lest the other comment stand unrefuted. But actually the commenter with the greater strength to ignore insults and/or walk away is the one who looks better on the internet. I'm writing this for myself as much as anything, since I find this a difficult lesson to learn.