[skybrian]

It seems like the same action can be taken differently depending on intent. For example, one of the things Dale Carnegie emphasized is the importance of remembering people's names.

If you try to remember people's names is that manipulative? If so, why do we apologize for forgetting people's names? If we write down the names of people we meet, is that manipulative or is it just being organized?

If you do it badly, yeah that's weird.

[bladegash]

Very good points! Intent can be tricky, since good intentions quite often go badly. Defining "badly" even becomes problematic as well (badly for who - me? them? the collective?). I think one of the problems with manipulation, is the intent is inherently selfish (to achieve your own goals/agenda), with the target's well being/free agency being a secondary consideration. However, it is definitely challenging to find the line between persuasion, cultural norms/good manners (e.g., remembering someone's name, making eye contact, etc.), and manipulation.