[twomoretime]

This is such a toxic, selfish modern view.

For most people, even with shitty parents, your still parents sacrificed for you and raised you. A loyal human would not abandon them without great reason. Cutting contact should be a last resort, even if that means slightly worse mental health for yourself. Yes, you do owe them some minimum of respect and kindness if they showed you the same in raising you. That leads to better outcomes for society.

[backprojection]

I’m up voting because I want to hear this side of the argument. I guess your point is that most people’s experience isn’t that bad, and they owe their parents.

Sure, so it can just be a matter of balancing how they treat you and your family vs basic decency and the benefit of merely maintaining contact and having them around as grandparents for your kids. Everyone’s experience and tolerance is different.

I don’t think we necessarily owe our parents. They made the conscious decision to have us and raise us, that ought to be a reward in it self.

I certainly will the best I can for my kids, but I don’t want them to think they owe me anything. This is especially true if I am (unknowingly or unconsciously) treating them or their family very badly.

[anxman]

It’s replies like this that show a total ignorance for mental health and human dignity. You truly have no idea what some people experience inside their own homes and as a result, in their minds. Please do not listen to this person if you are experiencing problems with family. Get help and educate yourself.

[Klinky]

I will have to disagree strongly with this. Perhaps you must live through the abuse to understand.

[anxman]

Agreed. He’s totally ignorant. I wish for him to live through things that I experienced and then come back here and write those same things.

[damnyou]

This is such a toxic, selfish traditional view.

Your highest duty is to your own self and the people you care about. That may or may not include the people who raised you. You can define and be loyal to family that you choose.