[Kaibeezy]

Didn’t look at your link, but the above is fine. Concise, organized. It’s OK.

Advice: Practice. Edit.

Suggestion: Take an intro to journalism class. Got to be a million of those online right now. Write, write, write. Edit, edit, edit, edit, edit.

[robotichead]

Thank you :) I did spend a while editing and completely re-writing sections