[ohvirginia]

it seems like it's really hard to be in that position. that must suck. I feel sorry for your that you're having that experience.

please quit your job. it sounds like otherwise you'll hit a crisis point where life comes in and forces you to make a change (like a real accident) if you feel it so strongly that you're having those feelings and thinking about it all the time please just go ahead and quit. It seems like life is giving you the signs and signals.

I know it's a hard time with work right now but sounds like you have some good support networks around you and from my own experience I can recommend working in small hospitality like the people are cool and when it's busy you get to pass the time, even as a waiter in a cafe or kitchen hand or dishwasher. I recommend against a grocery store unless it's a tiny deli or Bodega because you don't just have to work the cashier you have to pack the shelves and it's less engaging for you as a human than working in hospitality I think.

but at this moment maybe that's not the best suggestion. I don't know how you feel about factory work but I guess it's an option anyway best of luck please quit.

you got to honor how you feel about it right? otherwise who else is going to live your life if you don't.