[BobKabob]

I'll tell you what NOT to do. Don't think of him as the first one on the hiring list!

I had my pair programming soulmate as early as age 15, back in the very early PC days (mid-to-late 70's). We ended up working together at a small software company, and having a blast.

We went to different schools. I graduated before he did. I got a great job at a fast-growing silicon valley computer company. The next year, I helped him get hired. He even reported to me for a while, at what is today one of the largest computer companies.

We always talked about starting our own business. Finally, after lengthy successful corporate careers, we got a 3rd partner who was willing to quit to launch a business, provided that "Chris and Steve" (me and my programming soulmate) would join him, the other guy first, me second.

Unfortunately, wives and families got involved, complicating things. The other guy never wanted to quit his safe and secure job at the large computer company, and so he balked at his earlier agreement to be the first of us to quit. So the 3rd partner turned to me in desperation, even though I was not his first choice, and it wasn't what we had previously signed as an agreement.

I quit the cushy corporate job (I had the better of the two jobs), and helped to launch the small business. We were making good money. Then the other guy FINALLY joined us. Unfortunately, we never made any profits while he was employed fulltime. There was too much stress and too many family issues. Finally, the soulmate quit, taking one of our largest customers with him, and tried to stiff the bank on the business loan, on the way out the door. He didn't honor many of the signed papers, including shareholder buyback agreements, loan documents, etc. Instead, through his lawyer, he said "I hope the bank sues us", because he had falsified his asset statement to the bank, claiming that he had no assets. He figured he was safe, and they'd come after me.

The loan holder ended up suing him, and winning by default. Funny thing, when you sign those loan documents, you sign away your rights to fight in court, and you agree that the loan holder can sue and win without you even knowing it. The loan holder aimed directly at him, not at me or the 3rd partner. He got sued and lost.

Naturally, this pissed him off, but it was his own bad legal advice that got him into the mess. He was unwilling to come to the table to negotiate a fair settlement, and wanted to hold onto company ownership, but was not willing to live up to company debt. Sorry, pal, it doesn't work that way.

So, I move on. The company never had a profitable year with him as a fulltime employee, and never had a loss with him out. The business is doing fairly well after 15 years. We don't speak to this day. Best friends from childhood and programming soulmates, but it's NOT a way to start a business.

So forget about the idea that he's the first person that you'll hire. Bad idea.

[PakG1]

I've admittedly heard more stories like this than success stories. But even so, it seems to me that it just comes down to the fact that you often don't know people as well as you think they do, you don't predict how they would change as well as you think they would, and you don't know yourself as well as you think you do. If not for that information asymmetry, I'd say that there would be no reason to not go forward with something like that. After all, there are success stories on that front too.

[BobKabob]

Very true.

And in fact, all things considered, I believe we are both doing pretty well now, separately. So you could say that all's well that ends well.

My business with the 3rd partner has lasted far longer than the typical small business. And I think my programming soulmate is doing OK. The latest information I can find on him is that he left his next job (who was formerly a large customer of ours), and I can also see that he subsequently sued them for back pay. Those legal documents listed that he was owed over $100K from the company he left (and there are certain other indications that he was terminated abruptly).

If you end up in legal battles with your last two employers, that's not a good sign. This supports your theory that I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. On the other hand, I'm sure his side of the story is that I was a huge ass in the process, but I honestly tried to live up to every agreement that we made. Still, I carry guilt to this day.

I must have said to my lawyer and 3rd partner at least 100 times that I want what's fair to my family, but no more than what's fair. I could see we were going to be saddled with huge debt payments, and I sure as heck wasn't going to put that burden on my family, to the benefit of the guy who was stiffing us!

I know my soulmate kept saying over and over that he just wanted out. I understand that the pressures were tremendous from his wife. All he had to do was negotiate in good faith, and he would have saved himself about $100K in settlement and legal bills.

If I didn't value friendships, I'd say "all's well that ends well". But really, it caused a TON of stress and pain. My relationship with my current business partner is exceptional, even though he's not a programmer-genius. He's a sharp guy, but above all else, he's highly ethical.

Bottom line, be highly ethical, even if it costs you. And extreme talent without ethics is not worth partnering with.

[PakG1]

1000x ethics. They're very underrated. Most people will be like, "Hey, I'm ethical, nothing to worry about!" But most people will not have their ethics put to the test until they're in a really tough situation, so talk is cheap.

[zwieback]

Wow, sorry to hear that, sounds like a story you'll carry with you. Who was Chris and who was Steve, or were you both a mix?

[BobKabob]

I would say that he was Steve, I was Chris. Although one of those names is actually one of our names, and incorrectly assigned.

He is the best pure software developer I have seen ever. He could crank code like no one I have ever seen. But we were even better as a team. Until we weren't.