[vijucat]

What subject excites you that doing a course on Coursera or Udemy, for example, doesn't make you feel like, "Groan, 6 hours a week x 6 weeks?!"? Do that course + talk on the Coursera forum with other students and reach out to folks in the industry who'd value seeing that certification on your resume / LinkedIn.

About feelings: you have to feel your feelings, but productivity is difficult if you're always feeling down. Don't beat up yourself, which adds a 2nd layer of sadness to an already sad situation. Get enough sleep and work on things that excite you.