[Avshalom]

Yeah the good news is that if you find CRUD apps mind numbing then you are definitely smart enough to be a programmer.

Sooo... right now thanks to covid19 basically every class at your local community college is online try a GIS class, it's a little bit python, a little bit SQL, a little bit data science-y and sometimes you go fly a drone around.

Or you know something else, the point is there's plenty of fields that aren't explicitly tech adjacent that the ability to program at all gives you a somewhere between a head start and superpowers.

BUT also I'm with the other guys too, maybe talk to a therapist.