[bediger4000]

> why do we try to get the women/children/handicap out of an accident first when who should survive is the fittest?

This is pretty much the problem of why evolution encourages altruism, why there are eusocial animals (ants, bees, naked mole rats) and things like that.

You're missing 2 things:

1. "fittest" isn't very obvious. It probably comes down to something like a statistical ability to have offspring that survive. With that orientation, saving women/children/etc first makes sense: more offspring survive, especially for K-strategy species like humans. We humans are accustomed to making moral judgements about survival, but experts seem pretty sure that "fittest" doesn't include morality. Just as a side note, "fittest" may not exist as a long term thing. Climates change, continents move, volcanism happens. "Fittest" might mean something on a short term, but probably doesn't exist long term.

2. What nature wants to propagate isn't terribly obvious. It's chromosomes. Why do you help your children? They carry half of your chromosomes. Why do you help your parents? Same reason? Your sibligs? On average you've got maybe 50% of your chromosomes in common. See https://quoteinvestigator.com/2016/05/05/brothers/ for a pithy way of saying this.

Propagation of chromosomes pretty much explains colonies of ants: because of the way sexual determination works in ants and bees, the worker ants are more closely related than mammal siblings are. This article has a decent explanation: https://www.antkeepers.com/facts/ant-colony/why-do-ants-live...