[kharak]

I have trouble focusing on work most of the time and lack the motivation for almost everything, unless not doing it would cause problems.

But everything I've read about ADHD doesn't sound like a me at all.

Never heard of your way of describing it though.

[dvcrn]

I just posted a comment below that sounds like that - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22920256

Adhd feels like knowing how to do something and knowing you should do it, but not actually doing it. It’s like your inner drive is very weak unless there is an external consequence involved, like a deadline.

Dumb examples are

- your homework unless the deadline comes closer

- a amazon box that you know the contents of but currently don’t need it, so it stays packaged standing around until you need the item or the space

- dishes

- a todo list item that’s floating around for weeks that takes minutes to complete but has no deadline

Then at other moments something just grabs your attention and it becomes the most important thing right now even if you should be doing something else. Like finding a new tool or programming language that you really want to use immediately, or randomly cleaning your entrance area NOW even though you should be leaving for the train to make a meeting.

[kharak]

Adhd feels like knowing how to do something and knowing you should do it, but not actually doing it. It’s like your inner drive is very weak unless there is an external consequence involved, like a deadline.

Yes, that would be me. I know what I need to do in so many ways. But doing it? If it isn't a habit or some form of negative emotion forces me to do it, almost impossible. There are, of course, exceptions. But in general, absolutely.

Homework

Yes, same with tasks / Jira stories today.

Amazon box

There is a printer inside a box in my living room that I need to print a work related document. It's now there for like 8 days? My office wrote me, that they need that document and boy don't I care about it, as it is merely a formality. So yes, total check.

Dishes

See, this is why I'm not completely convinced ADHD matches me. I never leave dishes behind. When I'm done cooking, even before I take the first bite, the kitchen is in perfect condition. Vacuuming my room on the other hand...

Todo lists

I need them to be productive, but my personal todo list tends to remain on my whiteboard for weeks or months until I do everything possible in one rush. I guess that is also a match?

Your last paragraph sounds like doing things compulsively, things that aren't important right now. That is also a no match for me. I get hyper focused from time to time, although that has gotten quit rare in recent years. But I've never not went to a meeting or something similar because of it. If I need to do something, if I start to feel negative about it, I'll get it done no matter what. I'd feel quite awkward not getting to meetings, so that doesn't happen. Maybe this is still a match?

Edit:

On the other hand, I should complete a Jira story right now. But now I'm here and listening to a ADD related talk from another comment. But I really should work on that story to finish it. But I kind of have an open deadline. But it gets steadily more embarrassing that I haven't finished it. Uh oh.

[eru]

There are different ways for ADHD to manifest.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivit... has a list of symptoms in adults.

> But everything I've read about ADHD doesn't sound like a me at all.

If the symptoms listed there don't match, you probably don't have a ADHD, I guess.

[kharak]

Went through the list. I'd say at least 50% matches me completely, but some items are situational or are not even close.

- Keeping still? As a kid, I had always a problem keeping my leg still.

- Excessive talking? Nope, I was the quite kid. Also never interrupted anyone and still don't.

- Acting without thinking? The polar opposite. I didn't act because of all the thinking. That problem remains to this very day.

- Not caring about details? Painfully correct, why did I end up as SWE where details are all that matters?

- Appearing forgetful? 100%. I can't remember most of my childhood and have a bad memory in general. But I never misplace things. Can't remember work stuff if I don't write it down. Onenote saves me daily.

- Listening to instructions? Well, I'm very good at listening to people in bilateral situations. But during meetings? My mind goes places. And reading docs and instructions is almost impossible. Even if I can force myself to go through everything, I still miss details!

- Difficulty organizing? Absolutely, although I get it done if I'm forced to do it. But I hate it.

- Short attention span? Well, depends on the situation. In gaming, I can stay focused all day long. I can read a book for hours. No problem staying focused doing physical activities (sport). Staying focused on coding is really difficult and I constantly zone out.

- Taking risks? Ha, no. I don't take risks, at all. It's actually a problem.

- Impatience? Yes and no, depending on the situation. But I'm mostly quite patient. Maybe because I'm in my head most of the time?

- Mood swings? Not at all. At least not within one day. But during the week? There a bad days and good days.

- Not completing tasks? Not really, I tend to finish what I've started, if it is manageable, can be done in one go. But complex tasks, that may not be well defined? Personal hell.

- Inability to deal with stress? I'm a Jedi. I don't get stressed easily and if the situation becomes stressful, I get more focused. But I need a lot of downtime to keep my sanity.

That I went through these lists in a not so orderly fashion is also not the best sign, isn't it?

[eru]

Not everyone has all the symptoms. For example, I don't really display hyperactivity nor mood swings, nor do I have trouble dealing with most kinds of stress.

> - Short attention span? Well, depends on the situation. In gaming, I can stay focused all day long. I can read a book for hours. No problem staying focused doing physical activities (sport). Staying focused on coding is really difficult and I constantly zone out.

Sounds like the flip side: hyperfocus. See eg https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/adhd-symptoms-hyperfo... Direct quote:

> Hyperfocus is the experience of deep and intense concentration in some people with ADHD. ADHD is not necessarily a deficit of attention, but rather a problem with regulating one’s attention span to desired tasks. So, while mundane tasks may be difficult to focus on, others may be completely absorbing. An individual with ADHD who may not be able to complete homework assignments or work projects may instead be able to focus for hours on video games, sports, or reading.

[kharak]

Maybe I should I give it a go. I really don't want to. But this has been frustrating for a long time. Thanks for the effort!

[eru]

Have a look, maybe it helps.

The good side about the common ADHD medications (various stimulants) is that they mostly help within half an hour, if they help at all.

So apart from the hassle of getting a diagnosis and prescription, at least you won't have to endure months of side effects before you know whether you can get any better.

(I'm contrasting that with eg anti-depressants here.)

[kharak]

That sounds promising. On a side note, today I've tried Nicotin for the first time. I've heard that it helps people with ADHD and as this has been on my mind for a couple of months by now, I figured that this might be an easy way to check myself. Your post was the last push and I have a shop right next to my door.

Well, it seemed to work. Maybe placebo, but I'd say that I had high concentration burst in 30-45 minutes intervals (after inhaling). I kind of forgot that I've taken it a couple of minutes in, because I was so focused on the code. I heard that Nicotin works as neuroenhancer in general, so nothing is proven. But no matter why, it seemed to help.

I really don't want to get addicted to Nicotin, so I'll see how I can find a doctor to verify/falsify this.

Thanks again!

[scns]

Some Researchers propose 7 types of ADD, which are quite different on the surface symptoms. Check out this talk by Dr. Amen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWnJ4wjVu9k