[bearer_token]

I've always thought there should be an "other help" movement alongside "self help."

Some of the content could include guidelines for being available while setting firm boundaries, dealing with caregiver fatigue, setting up healthy habits that loop another person without annoying them.

I would love to offer a couch to a friend in need, if I knew I could count on them not to abuse it, that they'd make steady progress, and that there's a deadline for when we get our lives back to normal. Unfortunately whenever I do try to help out it usually ends up enabling continuing the problematic behavior.

[luckylion]

> I would love to offer a couch to a friend in need, if I knew I could count on them not to abuse it, that they'd make steady progress, and that there's a deadline for when we get our lives back to normal. Unfortunately whenever I do try to help out it usually ends up enabling continuing the problematic behavior.

This sounds like the individualized perception of the issues with a government welfare system. ;)

Very good idea on the "other help" movement though.

[darkerside]

Are you implying those perceived issues do not really exist?

[luckylion]

No, I'm implying they are very obvious when considered at an individual level.

[taurath]

Otoh, if someone is stuck in the water, a life preserver being thrown at them isn’t going to make them dependent on life preservers. But they must address the reason why they were in the water in the first place.

[mettamage]

> I've always thought there should be an "other help" movement alongside "self help."

There is, one of the communities I happen to know about is called the effective altruism community. I'm sure it's not the only one, and I'm pretty sure there are more communities with the word "altruism" in it that are about the idea of other help.

I do think it's an amazingly marketable term though since it juxtaposes to self help so well.