[slfnflctd]

Thank you for participating so much in this thread. I've gone through similar things in childhood, but took the 'other' path and ended up significantly lower-functioning than I thought I would be or was expected to-- drinking too much, avoiding people and responsibilities, generally just trying to scrape by on my own terms. You could say the system failed me, but it's usually not so simple... I also failed myself, and was impeded by a drive my parents instilled in me to seek 'higher knowledge' through religion, and later drugs (the latter leads one back to the former too easily sometimes). I was in my mid twenties before I finally came back around to a materialistic world view.

Fortunately, I have a partner who - in part resulting from their own childhood obstructions - is incredibly supportive, as well. It chills me to think of all the kids out there who feel trapped in an inscrutable world that doesn't seem to understand them. I like to think putting your words out there helps some.