[vageli]

> I don't entirely agree with the concept. Going through stressful situations can either hack away at your being or it can help make you a more informed and resilient person.

> Pain can either be useful or useless. Physical exercise is painful. That's useful pain. Falling down and breaking your hip is useless pain.

In my experience it's not either/or, it's both. I've been in traumatic experiences during which I've told myself that I would come out on the other side better from the experience, and I have. That doesn't and didn't make the experience more bearable while I was undergoing it. It may have offered comfort but not much, and even then in the moment I felt guilty for feeling like I was experiencing something positive (the comfort).

[outworlder]

> That doesn't and didn't make the experience more bearable while I was undergoing it

Amen. Once you are through then, and provided you survived the experience unscathed, then that might build a thicker skin.

Or it might not, and you start having issues requiring psychological treatment. YMMV

[dumbfoundded]

You're right that it's not always the either/or. A single experience can help in some ways and hurt in others. Maybe a better way to phrase it is that there are some painful experiences that teach us to change ourselves and others that help us learn acceptance and resilience.

I also agree with your sentiment that while you're going through it, you may not really care or not if it makes you a better person in the long term. The immediate pain can be overwhelming.

I do believe we should engage our painful experiences though. Really self reflect on them and allow ourselves to feel the emotion. Avoidance is the only surefire way to build debt.

[hosh]

It always sucks when you experience it in the moment. This is me with knowing a lot about the meditation and concentration techniques, and having been through numerous rough cycles.