[godot]

This is a complicated topic with no single right answer because the situation involves so many factors. Here's a few things to keep in mind. First, if the company truly only values those who overwork, it may be signs of a somewhat toxic environment and may be a reason to look around. Not saying it must be, there's a lot of other factors. Even a company that values overworking could be a good place to stay for other reasons too. I wanted to state this early and get this out of the way first (just so I can clarify that I don't discount the possibility that the company can be bad).

Then, you can also try to understand what the company leadership truly values. In my experience, most company leaderships truly value impact, not working hours, but it's easy to conflate or even confuse the two; it's even possible that leadership values impact but to other regular employees it may look like they value hours.

In my own experience, companies and leadership that I worked for usually value impact; and over the years, what I've gathered is that the best way to make good impact to the business is to truly understand the business and domain knowledge deeply and communicate effectively, as an engineer. I'm nearing my late 30s with a young kid now and had similar thoughts as you a few years ago. It turns out ultimately what employers care about isn't the amount of hours I put in; but rather if I understand the business and domain deeply, I can correctly spend my time on the most impactful things; and can communicate these things effectively. I have hardly ever worked over hours in my past 2 years at my current company; and am still highly valued.

On a totally different note though, it is also worth considering taking up a less intense role (if that truly is a problem at your current place) during the first year or two of your fatherhood. It's well worth the break time from developing your career to spend much needed time with family instead -- not just the baby, but your spouse who'll no doubt need you to be there for very much. Part of my reasoning to switch away from my last job was for this; and it just so happened that I also ended up at a good (remote) company that isn't all about working hours but good impact.

[tuxwins]

> In my own experience, companies and leadership that I worked for usually value impact; and over the years, what I've gathered is that the best way to make good impact to the business is to truly understand the business and domain knowledge deeply and communicate effectively, as an engineer. I'm nearing my late 30s with a young kid now and had similar thoughts as you a few years ago. It turns out ultimately what employers care about isn't the amount of hours I put in; but rather if I understand the business and domain deeply, I can correctly spend my time on the most impactful things; and can communicate these things effectively. I have hardly ever worked over hours in my past 2 years at my current company; and am still highly valued.

This is eloquently put. Resonated with me. Would you mind getting in touch offline for a short discussion and help answer some questions of mine? I will take a No as well. :)