[jobigoud]

I think a factor in the success of your approach is that the two partners should have more or less the same idea of tidiness. If one has more tolerance than the other with say, seeing piles of clothes or plates accumulate, they don't feel as concerned.

[scotty79]

That or just acceptance that their levels of tidiness differ and awareness that the tidier person will have to keep their environment tidier if he/she keeps wanting it because that's only for his/her benefit.

Trouble pretty much always stems from thinking that your standards and wants are or should be universal and ascribing them to other person.