[JoeAltmaier]

We stopped arguing with a few simple rules:

  Everybody has their own chores. Fixed. No confusion

  Say thanks! each time you see a chore done. Everybody likes to be noticed.

  See a chore undone? Do it. Its easier to do it, than to complain about it.  Corollary: Complaining about a chore, makes it your chore this time.

So we went from fighting about who's doing what, to giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Appreciating what everybody does. And sometimes doing a kindness for another person, just because. (And getting thanked for it!)

[collyw]

This wouldn't have worked in the shared appartment I lived in years ago. One person in particular seemed to not do his own share of washing dishes. So everyone else should do his dishes rather than complain? Seems a bit backwards.

[JoeAltmaier]

So how did complaining work out?

Anyway, notice the part about everybody doing different chores. They dislike dishes - work something out, they do something else.