[gerdesj]

"Guess the username" (you didn't even try and it was pretty bloody obvious):

Gerdes (my family name) means the same as the word German. A ger is a spear - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migration_Period_spear. A ger-man is a spear bearing man and gerdes is an old form of that. You lot had a habit of trundling around with spears - hence the name in English.

Using Zoom is of course not an awful thing to do. Just be careful me old fruit. Please.