[sthatipamala]

Re: "Being Liked"

If I were to say "I like having women at work, especially when they make brownies and are not bitches," I'd have an angry horde at my door.

But Jean Hsu thinks it is okay to say it because she is a woman?

[Confusion]

I'm going to assume both you and Jean Hsu wouldn't be serious when they said that. In that case, if you were to say that, the angry horde would consist of women that didn't know you and were taking your words at face value, because guys have been known to actually feel that way. Those women would give Jean Hsu the benefit of the doubt, because there are few women known to have actually ever felt that way. However, with people you know, who understood the broader context of what you were saying, it wouldn't (shouldn't) be a problem.

"I like some female colleagues among my male colleagues for a number of reasons, but the fact that they tend to bring brownies definitely stands out for me, because I love brownies." There, defused the entire problem?

[sthatipamala]

I agree. I'll gladly mince my words to avoid being called a sexist.

The issue here is that either Jean is being serious, in which case she's undermining workplace equality, or she's abusing the fact that she can facetiously say such things because she can get away with it. What is she trying to accomplish?

[Confusion]

Well, clarifying what you mean to people that don't know you is not really mincing words: a lot of implicit things can remain unsaid with people that do know you, but that doesn't mean it should be possible to leave them unsaid at all.

I don't think she's trying to accomplish anything; she's just being blatantly honest and care-free, without taking into consideration how Joe Random may (reasonably) interpret what she's saying.

[hackinthebochs]

I don't get whats so outrageous that some people can say things that others can't. Context is everything, especially in language. I see this argument all the time when it comes to race and sex, and I just don't get it. It seems completely disingenuous to me. Confusion explained the difference well so I won't repeat it.

Let me ask you this, why is it so outrageous that its worth calling her out and making assumptions about her motivations just because she said something that you couldn't get away with?

[cookiecaper]

I think everyone would like having people at work make brownies, and not bitch, and I think they would like it regardless of the sex of the bakers.