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by avindroth
2295 days ago
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‘ This, to my ears, is when you began actually doing the work for yourself, by yourself, stopped believing in some shortcut-magic trick in any one book however classic or popular.’ I would say that’s a wrong reading of what I said. But take what you will. It’s simple, I actually just stopped trying so damn hard. Nothing fancy or crazy. The way you are talking about self-change makes it sound really toiling and gruesome, almost too serious. That is not what I really mean. Just you know, enjoying daily life having good meals and such. Not taking myself too seriously. Reading less. Just going about. Indulging in laziness and entertainment. So I don’t believe in some other version of self-help (like you are presuming). I just do whatever I feel like and say whatever feels right. I don’t have high goals, I am just living day-to-day with some aspirations. |
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I think I see. You come from a different place than me, surely. Our initial make-up I mean, whether innate or acquired.
The thing is, I speak of a "struggle" to really put down the "get-X-quick" approach versus actual compounded effort (tiny bits but long term).
People want to eat some psychedelic or read magical incantations and get-woke-quick but the reality of becoming a well-rounded individual is closer to cooking a nice meal every day (you just need to find and learn recipes that work for you, I guess that's what you found eventually? This emotional clarity, alignement, simplicity even? That's super-zen, you should know!)
I was also speaking of another bigger and clearly 'darker' thing (as in "opaque", non-conscious, that can't be seen but rather felt). I hate the term but you'll read "quantum change" in the mainstream, the idea of a "core" or "essential" change of personality / behavior (same thing here). It happens to some "survivors" notably (of any kind, it's what the person experienced that matters). There's a before and an after — the meaning of life, what bothers you (or not), what (now) inspires you, etc. It's all so much clearer on the other side of pain.
This surely isn't zen and roses, although for me it took going down that dark path and back to really smell the roses (for what they are, and not what I wanted them to be). The terseness of comments and my will to pack too much probably blurred the line between these two experiences — daily routines versus one-off life-changing internal event and its aftermath.