[toofy]

> ... and went back to a meeting to find out that there were rumors that I had relapsed after I moved and continued using until I was homeless. It was a drama fest.

I obviously don’t have your unique and nuanced understanding of the situation, but this seems like a common occurrence with all humans when they lack information.

In my experience when we don’t have information, our group tendencies lean towards filling gaps with the outlandish and dramatic.

Again, I don’t know much about AA but I’d question whether that situational behavior was driven by something unique to AA.

Though, their hostility to atheism is a problem they should have addressed long ago.

[P_I_Staker]

The relapsed part sure, but having a story that detailed is absurd. He stopped coming to our meeting? Must be homeless and turning tricks on corner... Absolutely ridiculous

[bawolff]

Humans might have a tendency to gossip...but what's described sounds pretty extreme and well, toxic.

To make the broader point, just because humans tend to be assholes does not mean we should accept people being assholes as "natural" or ok.

[toofy]

Oh I certainly did not mean to imply it’s natural or OK...

To be more clear, this type of toxicity is seen all over the place and I think this behavior is likely caused by something that isn’t unique to any rehabilitation programs.

We see this toxic behavior in everything spanning from job workgroups to community planning committees and yes, it even manifests in extreme ways in many many communities.

I’d be the very last person to fall back on some “oh X is natural, so we should always accept X.” so if I gave this impression, huge apologies. It definitely was not my intention.

And I really don’t want to come across as if I’m stanning for AA as I’ve heard much more negative about them than positive.