[Balanceinfinity]

I became familiar with the term "quality time" as a contrast to "quantity time," regarding child rearing. As both parents began working outside of the home, and less time was spent with the kids, parents tried to ease their guilt by ramping up the quality time. This really doesn't work, and I agree with Al Franken: "“Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever love. First and foremost, being a good parent means spending lots of time with your children. I personally hate the phrase ‘quality time.’ Kids don’t want quality time. They want quantity time, big, stinking, lazy, nonproductive quantity time.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/04/upshot/upshot-letter-our-...

[aidenn0]

I think people just have different ideas of what "quality time" is.

The definition I've always used is roughly:

If I'm sitting right next to my kid and ignoring them, that's not QT. If I'm sitting right next to my kid and interacting with them, that's QT.

Even if I'm doing household chores, if my kid is watching and I answer questions they have about what I'm doing, that's QT. If I let them help out, that's QT. If I say "go in the other room and watch TV so I can get this chore done" that's not QT.

Some people seem to think if it's not a planned-out highly-structured nutritious, fun and educational activity, it's not QT which is not how I ever interpreted it.

[com2kid]

Some of my best memories of my dad are of us sitting together every week watching Kevin Sorbo run around as Hercules.

Don't completely dismiss "garbage" time!

[aidenn0]

Absolutely. I spent time reading a book next to my dad who was reading a different book and enjoyed that. It doesn't count under my definition of QT though.

Watching TV might though, particularly when we talked during the commercials.

[Balanceinfinity]

I agree - family trips (even long car rides) can be quality time if everyone is listening to the same songs and singing along together, or listening to a book together and discussing what's going to happen (ok, we're strange) or wasted time as everyone escapes into their own devices.

We go to a lot of sporting events and our rule is that when a ball or puck is in play, no devices - these have been the best way to share quality time with our teens.

[samtimalsina]

Oh I love this definition! As a parent of a just-started-crawling infant, I can already see how they thrive on attention.

[aidenn0]

Oh yeah, #1 piece of advice for toddlers is roughly:

1. They crave attention

2. If they do something wrong they reliably get lots of attention (sure they'd rather have more positive attention, but...)

3. If you don't reliably give them loads of attention for doing something right, see #2