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by PostPost 2306 days ago
"but at the same time a bit condescending to think that you can assist him by some techniques picked up at an internet forum"

I don't think it's condescending to show empathy for, and attempt to learn how to help a colleague.

At worst, it's naive, because OP may not understand what a complex circumstance it can be - but I've worked with a number of Americans who do not understand work visas at all and have no intention of learning more. It's good to see OP asking; this industry could use more people looking out for each other.

1 comments

I think you are correct, naive would have been a better word.

I was not trying to shame empathy, but I felt it would be cruel not to point out the difficulty of the situation. "Move fast and break things" does not apply when you have only one shot.

There are some situations (for example medical conditions) where a simple checklist approach can provide tremendous value. These are situations where most of the variables are fairly known, and none of the steps are likely to have bad consequences.

I don't think there is a good checklist unless someone has been in the exact position as the friend (same industry, same skill base, same visa, etc) and can come up with helpfull pointers.

Maybe OP's use of the word "Coach" instead of "help" is not great here, but I read this as a coworker trying to help an under-appreciated colleague.

I do not think promotions or raises are a "one shot" situation, and I don't think having an advocate on your team is going to result in bad consequences, not unless they force the issue or management is truly awful.

As to coaching/checklists - I don't think someone has to be in the exact same situation to help. Every good coach starts from zero coaching experience, and it's easy to advocate on behalf of a teammate. I've had a lot of help from lots of people with different backgrounds, skills, etc. in my career - I would hate for them to think they couldn't help me because they haven't been in the exact same position.

I think we're trying to avoid a situation where OP's advice to his colleague will be bad because OP has little experience with the myriad of things that need to be considered when dealing with job switching on a visa in the US. In that case, no advice and no coaching would be better.