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by roc 5611 days ago
I wouldn't stop there.

In my experience, people who nag believe themselves to be "making an effort". Indeed, they think they're doing the right thing.

Willingness to put in the effort is a good first start, but it's not enough. Many people clearly don't understand why certain things do or don't work. And there's as much to be learned from study and experience in the right way to work at a relationship as there is in anything else.

2 comments

That's a good insite. I guess nagging is often somewhere that the maxim about doing shit (OK, less of a maxim, more of a statement: If shit needs doing... do it) needs to be applied.

If you've not gone to the point of setting up areas of responsibility and some means of ensuring things get done, your choices are either do it yourself or nag about it. I think the tendency is often towards the latter, when it should be the former.

I guess I simplified it a little to far. "Making an effort" also involves continually examining your own behavior, testing if it is constructive and helping the situation. This sort of self examination is a very useful tool and can be applied in all facets of life, social and career.
"Make a DIY Science effort[1]" might have worked.

[1] http://lesswrong.com/lw/3wh/science_do_it_yourself/