[SamReidHughes]

Find some high-school graduate, not-yet-going-to-college supergenius coder-deities. The thing is, I don't think they're actually cheap.

Another possibility is to drive a nondescript van down Castro Street on a weekday around lunch, pick out a scrappily dressed young male, and kidnap him. Make sure you're driving facing west (or is it north? I mean south) so that you don't get trapped by the railroad. You'll need guns, I hear you can get them in Reno.