[mrkurt]

A bunch of my friends have had miscarriages, and this seems so common. I can't imagine the trauma and I get not wanting to celebrate. And you know what? I think it's ok to not celebrate.

We had a very stressful pregnancy (we were teenagers with no money and unhappy soon-to-be-grandparents). There was no joy in it, we tried not to tell anyone, and only two people said "congrats" when they found out. I'm sad about that to this day ... especially for my wife, who I think missed out on something a lot of women delight in.

Our other three kids came through foster care, they showed up with little notice and we adopted them several years later. There was no pregnancy experience.

So we've never celebrated a pregnancy, but we sure as heck celebrate our kids.

[big_chungus]

> So we've never celebrated a pregnancy

Historically, many cultures didn't even name a baby for the first week or so for this reason. There were typically justifications in tradition or some such, but the fact was that many infants simply didn't live that long and this reduced the emotional attachment. People carry out so much before birth these days that your solution may the best mitigation of a tragic circumstance (along with reducing rates of miscarriage, that is).

[epoxyhockey]

> So we've never celebrated a pregnancy

I’m sorry to hear this and it must make you sad every time you think about it.

I think it is very difficult to go through life, experiencing all of life’s milestones in the way we might wish.

Another example is in those fortunate to celebrate a work retirement party. Others may fall ill, take leave and quietly retire without returning to work and have no retirement party.

Life seems unpredictable, unfair. Knowing that makes celebrations of life, when we can have them, much more special.

[mrkurt]

The milestones take is insightful. :thumbsup: