[pgeorgi]

> "he should have labeled it as a toy project" and "he should have given reasons why he didn't accept the patch" seem more like fair criticisms than making demands.

Those are demands. The toy project one is relatively low cost, but "he should have given reasons" brings with its lots of effort to do right - and then you get to do it over and over again, because the masses can fling shit at you faster than you can reason about it.

[tssva]

demand: an insistent and peremptory request, made as if by right.

critcism: the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.

"he should have ..." is clearly an expression of disapproval.