[mewpmewp2]

They do want, it is mainly that this is what they keep talking about so it is easy to misunderstand that this is all you have to be.

What they are really attracted to is confidence and often during teenage years and beginning of 20s as well, people who don't give a shit about anyone or anything are the most confident. Hence what happens is the girls are with those confident guys and guys who try to have the traits girls talk about are not. It is not easy to realize this if what you keep hearing from girls, media and films about what they look for in a man.

But actually we are not disagreeing.

This is why it fits with the honest criteria well as it is not clearly so black and white.

[keyboardbarista]

I think it's confirmation bias. If you lack confidence but consider yourself nice and caring, then you'll be more on the look out for instances of women saying that's what they want. It's more comforting to hear that, because it means you're just fine, you don't have to change, and it's the world that's unfair.

But let's say you don't have that bias and instead you're taking in ALL the evidence from society, film, books, etc... Well, then it's pretty damn obvious that women tend to like confident men. Look at the hero of pretty much every movie ever. Look at the popular guys in high school and college. The evidence is overwhelming.

Men and women alike want partners who make them feel special. Part of that is how you're treated by that person, sure, but part of it is how "valuable" that person is themselves. My dog can worship the ground I walk on, but at the end of the day he's still just a dog so it doesn't mean much :)